Portal. Part 3

Author's note:  This is part 3 in a series.  I would recommend that you check the blog history to read Parts 1 and 2 first.  All comments graciously welcomed!


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portal 3:

    I woke up with a start.  Where the hell am I today?  Travelling is hell because there's no sense of continuity.  I know that most people crave the ability to "just get away from it all."  Spend enough time doing that and all that you find yourself doing is "getting away" and that at some point you can't even remember what you were getting away from in the first place.

    Then the memories come back with a flood and as usual, I was left feeling drained and washed out.  I didn't know that I'd fallen asleep, but there you go.  Falling through the cracks in the universes can just leave you messed up.

    My second thought was that I wished that I had a watch.

    Watches are cool.  They could have all kinds of funky gizmos on them: a tiny light, some of them had compasses (which was only good, I found out, if you were on a planet called Earth - if you weren't those things just went crazy).  But the most important thing that a watch could do, I found, was tell the time.

    I would know what time it was.  Whether or not it would be relevant, or even accurate, on this planet was something that I didn't know.  Until I'd been on Earth I didn't know that such a thing existed.  When I did, I don't know how we lived without them.  Oh, we knew that time would pass, but we had no way to mark it. 

    But I guessed that it was past midnight, or at least what passed for midnight here.  The temperature had dropped considerably.   The fire was still going, but only just.  Michelle was still awake, tending to the fire, I saw.

    The campfire was in a wide clearing.  At some point I had moved away from the group, to sit on the ground and lean against a tree for support.  I just needed to be away from the heat and the light for a while.  And the people.   Definitely away from the people.

    Most of Kadir's men were asleep, but one or two were awake and walking around.  Guarding us. 

    "You're awake." said a voice "Finally."
    I sat up. 
    Xira looked down at me, silhouetted against the firelight.
    "Took a long while until we... you know... were alone again."

    "I don't want to be alone with you.  Ever.  Again."

    "Come on, after all that we've meant to each other?"
    "Xira, I thought that I was rid of you.  That you were gone from my life."
    "I know." She dropped into a crouch beside me. "And yet here I am.   Funny how things work out, isn't it?"
    "F**ing hilarious." I said.
    "Now now.  Language language."
   
    I sighed.
    "What do you want?"
    "I want to be off this rock.  Hurry up, will you?"
    "What makes you think that I'm going to let you come with me?"
    "What, you're not going to let me stay here are you?  With your family?"

    They're not my family, I thought, and was surprised by this.

    "Oh come on Ray. You know that you need me and that you were going to have to get me sooner or later don't you?" she left that one there for a minute "We both know that you need me to get the princess back.  After all, how else are you going to get the Crysanteum?"
    "Is that what you believe?  That I can't do this without you?" I asked "Believe what you want.  I'm not responsible for your beliefs.  Or you."

    I slowly got to my feet.  Lying on a cold hard ground?  Not a good idea.  I wouldn't recommend it.  My body was stiff and aching and tired and I was seriously fucked off.  All I ever wanted to be was Home and now that I was here, I wanted to be Someplace Else.

    "I've got to rescue my brother." I said.  "From a big ugly dangerous demon." I took a deep breath, hoping that it would kick start the circulation in my body.  "I'm glad I'm here because I've got a score to settle and I might die in the process.  But if I do I plan on taking it with me.  Now if we survive that," I said "We'll talk about you coming with me.  Not before."

    I deliberately walked away.  I was acutely aware that she had two handguns stashed away on her.  If she wanted to, she could kill me.  But if she did that, she'd be stuck here forever.

    You're home, a voice said in my head, you should be happy.

    But "home", I realised, was a memory.  One which told me that I had been happy whilst I was there.

    Home.  Where the heart belongs.

    But I couldn't bring myself to feel happy to be home.  Ever since....  Ever since... I'd been on the move, unconsciously keeping so busy that I'd kept parts of my life at bay.  Home.  With family.  Hmmm.
   
    For those of you who are keeping score I wasn't doing very well in the family stakes.  One brother was dead.  Another had been kidnapped and the other was...where? 

    Kadir, where are you?

    Below the firelight of the campfire lay the darkness of the forest.  The forest itself finished off any night vision that they campfire-light had killed, but I could not bring myself to the notion of letting the fire die.

    Kadir, where are you?

    The thought that I might have lost yet another brother tugged at my conscience at me but I needed more facts before I let my mind confirm that one. 

    I could not believe it.  I would not believe it.

    I walked the circumference of the clearing.  Nothing.  I talked to the people on watch.  Nothing.

    Then I talked to Michelle.

    "He's safe." She said.
    "Safe?" I echoed "Safe where?"
    "He said...that he needed to be on his own.  He needed to talk to the spirits to seek their guidance."
   
    Spirits???
    "How long has he been doing this?"
    "He was doing this when I first met him.  He would come back knowing what to do.  I know that he's safe.  I can feel it."
    I stood up and headed back out.  I still didn't know what time it was and that thought annoyed me, because I couldn't tell how long he'd been gone.
    "You have to relax and have patience." Michelle said.  "Worrying will do you no good."

      Eventually he came back from the shadows.  He stopped at the periphery and then walked directly over to me.
    "You're still awake." he said.
    "Yes."  I didn't know who I was more annoyed at: him before being gone, or me for worrying about him.  "I'm not the only one it seems." I said.
    "I'm thinking about our plan of attack."
    "And?"
    "And maybe its better if we don't."
    "Don't what?"
    "Attack."
    "So what are you thinking, have a chat?"
    "No, making a bargain."
    "A bargain?  What have we got to bargain with?"

    But even as I asked the question I thought that I knew the answer.   Like father....

    Kadir paused "We need to find out what he wants.   And then we need to give him what he wants without all of us dying in the process."

    "What could we possibly have that he wants?" I asked out loud.

    "The important thing would be that we're talking to him." said Kadir.  "If we're talking then surely he's not killing us?  We have to consider all options."

    I'd heard that line before.  The problem was that I knew Aashen better than Kadir did.

    Now instead of thinking of things not to say, I realised that I hadn't thought about Home for such a long time.  Not in that way, anyway.  My association with Home was linked with Aashen and I think that was because I'd failed in my attempt to remove him from the world.

    When I thought of Aashen I thought of Leshka, and I realised that I'd been trying to avoid thinking of Leshka, because those memories were painful.  Away from here, they seemed like a different world, like those memories belonged to someone else, not me.  But being back made my throat tighten and I felt like I was being suffocated.

But Aashen wasn't really a talker.  He would keep discussing things with you, right up until the moment he killed you.

    I had seen him do it before.

    I didn't know about other demons.  Maybe they were more receptive to work with other beings. 

    Although the campfire was still burning, I could feel the temperature dropping.

    "You're quiet." he said at last.  "You don't approve?"
    "I didn't say that." I said "But I think that if he wanted to talk, he has had plenty of opportunity to do so."

    Kadir watched me, thinking.  He was going to say it.  It had taken him long enough.  The very second that I had seen him - and found out where we were - I knew that I would be having this conversation.

      "You know, when I saw you fall from the mountain I thought you were dead."

    I didn't say anything. 

    "Well, at first we all thought that you were dead." Kadir sat down on one of the logs near the dying fire.  "But Father said that it was possible that you had ... travelled."  He sat quietly for a moment, probably, I thought, reliving the moments.  "We couldn't find a body.  Your body."

    Kadir turned to head back to the warmth of the campfire.  I watched him walk away and could almost hear the thoughts flowing through his mind.

    He turned, almost slowly.  "Now that you're here, alive and well after all this time, it proves that Father was right.  That you did travel." He took a step forward towards me.  "I'm not asking how you did it. " Another step.  "I'm not even asking where you were." Another step. "I'm asking why you came back now."

    "Does it matter?"  I asked, evasively.   "I'm here.  Isn't that the important part?"
    "Will, will you leave again?"
    I nodded.
    "When?"
    "When Anteya is safe."
   
    He seemed to consider this.
   
    "Its difficult keeping the peace." He said, after a moment's silence.  "The outlands have over 50 villages now.  The further we branch out the more we see of the sacred zones where the demons walk. The Imperial Guard does not leave City walls unless to go to war.  They will not fend for us.  So we have to fend for ourselves."

    "Why are you telling me this?"

    There was a long silence and I had a feeling of dread that I hadn't felt for a very long time.

    "I didn't do this for me." he began.
    "Do what?"
    Silence.
    "Do what?" I repeated.

    "I did what I was told to do." said Kadir in a surprisingly small voice.
    "Kadir," I could feel myself losing patience now.  This was beginning to feel to familiar.  I knew where this was going.  I was just hoping that I was wrong.  "what were you told to do."
    "Make a deal for the greater good."
    "And that means?" 

    I didn't think that he heard the tone of my voice. 
    "Exchange the Traveller for our safety."

    There.  He'd said it.

    "Oh you stupid, stupid..." at that point I was lost for words but it didn't really matter, because I gave him a right jab which lined him up for the left-handed knockout.
    Wham!

    And despite the blood rushing to my ears, I was conscious of a click behind me

(should have checked behind you, Ray)
(silly mistake)

because that was why Kadir had made sure that he had my full attention...
(it's over)

    BANG.

    I stiffened automatically tensing myslf for the bullet that never came.
    "He's down." said Xira behind me.  "I didn't kill him." she added defensively.

    I turned slowly as my back was still half-expecting a bullet.

    Xira stood there.  Two guns in two hands.  One covering the downed guard, the other covering the group near the campfire who were scrambling to their feet having heard the gunshot.

    I turned back to look at Kadir who was crumpled on the ground happily for me bathed in darkness as he was on the wrong side of the firelight.

    "You just knocked your brother out."
    "Yes."
    "I mean, you knocked him out."
    "Yes."
    "But.... but.... he's your brother..."
    I wanted to say something dry, but words were failing me.  In the end, I thought that silence was the best answer.

    "So what are we going to do now?" Xira asked.
    "Rescue Anteya, fight the demon and save the day."
    "In that order?"
    "Yeah, why not?"




to be continued.....



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