Change

Hi,

 


I've been away for a while  Now I'm back.
 




At the time of writing, I’ll be saying farewell to 2012 and hello, how are you to 2013.

Usually at this time, people make resolutions for the coming year, myself included. 

More often than not these resolutions are about change.  Something that a person wants to change about themselves.

The thing about change is that its inevitable.  It happens throughout your life and more often than not, its something that we don’t have control over.  And invariably, things that we don’t have control over, are things that we don’t like.

We, generally speaking, like control.  We like to feel that we are in control of things.  This gives us a sense of security and comfort: two things which are important for emotional wellbeing.

Change is sleeping alone in unfamiliar territory.  The first time that we try it, we’re on edge because we’re far away from our comfort zone and all the things that we felt comfortable about are often calling us back, it’s safer being back here.

Yes, it is.  Its safer being in that comfort zone.  But at one point the comfort zone where you are now was once scary and uncomfortable and you became accustomed to it.  And comfortable with it.  So you know that you can cope with change.  Because you did it before.

So you’re sitting here thinking about the resolutions that you want to make and often they include behaviours that you want to change: either habits that you want to stop, eg stop smoking, or habits that you want to acquire, eg going to a gym.

Now while you’re thinking about making these resolutions there are a couple of things that you have to know about change.
1.    They’re scary.
2.    Its difficult.
3.    You can do it.

The first two are really important to acknowledge.  Change is scary and difficult.  We don’t like it because it means moving away from what we already know and feel comfortable with to things that we don’t know and can unnerve us.  If it was easy we’d do it all the time.

The last point is a mantra – its something that you have to tell yourself.  Change is possible but you have to believe that you can do it.  Self-belief will get you three-quarters across.  Positive encouragement from others will help the rest of the way.

So now you’ve made that resolution and you know that you’re committed to making that change, how do you go about it?

Here are some suggestions:

Make small changes. Nobody has ever said that you have to make that massive change all in one go.  Set small achievable targets.  Easy ones.  And once you’ve met them, raise the bar a little.  And a little more.  And a little more.

Don’t make the changes alone.  Eg, if you want to join a gym, do it with a friend.  Or tell people about it and they can encourage you.  Use Twitter, its anonymous.  Just ignore all the negative sods.  Set a routine and you can provide positive encouragement to each other.

Change is inevitable.  Its scary and most of all, its part of life.  Its one of the few things that we can count on happening in our lives.  So, make your resolutions and put them into effect.

Happy New Year.